I Dreamed a Dream....

As I'm sure most of you are already aware, on Dec 28th Vladimir Putin signed into law a bill that prohibits all U.S adoptions from Russia. A lot of people are asking me what this means for those of us currently in process. Well folks, its means this. Its over. Dunzo. Kaput. Finito. For the last year Connor and I have known one thing to be true. That we would soon be the parents of a little boy from Russia. That any day we would be receiving his picture in the mail. A little boy we were going to call Oliver. Turns out this was never going to happen. Ever. That little boy, along with so so so many others, will remain in his orphanage with no family and no hope. Devastation doesn't even begin to cover what we feel. As sad as we are that we have to go yet another year without the family we so long to have, the real tragedy here isn't lost on us. Our loss pales in comparison to the innocents over there in those orphanages who've been robbed of their future. What a sad day for humanity. As much as it sucks for us, at least we have a family, food and warmth to console us. And always hope.

The question now is what will we do next? Well, its hard to say at this point. We have many options and we're carefully considering all of them. It's been difficult to detach ourselves from the idea of international adoption. Once it took hold of us it really resonated and became almost like a cause or a mission statement. The reality is that every country operates differently and we'll have to decide if its a possibility for us to continue down that path.

 We've certainly met with our fair share of adversity while in pursuit of our family. This isn't the first and most definitely wont be the last. But we're happy, healthy and hopeful. This year won't be what we thought it would be but it could easily still be the best year yet! As we look forward to 2013 I cant help but count my blessings. Its odd to feel so sad and so lucky at the same time. But lucky we are indeed. I have the best family in the world. The whole entire world. Emphasis on "whole entire world". Friends who came out of nowhere who I couldn't possibly live without, ever, ever, ever. A fat, orange cat who just makes me really happy. And of course Connor who is the coolest, most amazeballs(worst word ever!) human being to ever walk the earth. Life is good.

I'll update as soon as we know what our next step is. Here's to 2013!! Maybe just maybe Russia will open back up again and those kids will have chance. I guess thats what prayers are for right?